tirsdag 24. mai 2022

Ape-ocalypse

Why are you so sweet?

Because that is Who We Are.

You mean the Holy Family is cute in their essence?

You know what I mean because you are part of the Family. That is the whole point of us equipping you with the peculiar way of expressing yourself. Only the people who are destined to be a part of Our Family will understand the meaning behind your words.

People in general don't understand a squeak of what I'm communicating.

What have you been communicating as of lately?

You want me to share my Sacred Blog Posts?

Sure!

Okay. This and This and This and This.

Wonderful. And what are you trying to communicate with these Sacred texts?

Hmm... that humans who won't let me fix their heads and give them schizophrenia will become monkeys?

The choice is between becoming a Monk or becoming a monkey?

That's harsh, but it's basically the whole point of the ape-ocalypse 🐵

For the record, you are adorable yourself.

Thank you Joe.

Who am I?

Joey the King of Pizza, Pasta and Pancakes?

Or just?

Holy Joe 😍

And Who are you?

Andy.

Andy, and what more?

Andy walks with us, Andy talks with us etc?

Say it, silly girl.

Andy HaMashiach 😅

And why are you here?

To perfect the way humans behave.

How do you intend to do that?

I will give them the choice between losing their human consciousness or following my social media.

Which are?

Do I have to share all of them?

Nope. Just share what you refer to as 'Elsewhere'.

This.

Do you think everyone will be led to the intended page when clicking this link?

Idk, I'm not a goat....

So what animal are you, if you would pick one?

A white rabbit.

Correct your statement please.

I Am The White Rabbit.

What do people have to do?

Ummm... they have to follow The White Rabbit, of course. Mommy has been telling people to do this for years.

How did she do that?

She made an online alias and it just made people confused and angry, and it made most people follow an antichrist.

But not *the* antichrist?

I don't want to talk about it. Please.

I'll let it go. Let me just finish with making a cryptic statement.

Please don't.

I have to. Don't worry, people won't understand either way.

Okay, go ahead.

Andy HaMashiach is Nina Azarova, and not Anna Sorokin.

I don't like that.

You are a good girl nonetheless. Please post a pic.

What pic?

This!

I love you Joey.

I love you too. Please be a good girl and quit hating the world.

I can't help it.

I know. We will let you fix it very soon.

Thank you 😇

You are very welcome 💙

lørdag 7. mai 2022

The Queen of Blasphemy and the President of the Cosmos

...and so it begins.

What do you mean?

I was referring to your endless complaining about me not baking you any Cakes 😉

I must admit the amount of sweet pastries in my life is on a whole different level now.

But you can't really share it with the world, can you?

No.

Why not?

Because We are meant to be a secret until further notice.

A big secret meant for the elect few to know about. May I ask, who are 'the elect few'?

The Sheep.

The ones obeying Joseph Goebbels and company?

Those are 'sheep'. It's not the same thing.

So who are the Sheep with a capital S?

You talked about them in Matthew 25:31-46.

You mean my former self?

Yes, when your name was Yeshua.

What is my name now?

Umm... Joey, the King of Pasta, Pizza and Pancakes.

That's sweet. Do you remember when you asked me telepathically if We could have pancakes for dinner, and I came home with just that?

Yes, I remember all the Cakes you give me Lord 😊

Am I your Lord?

Of course. But you are also my Twin Brother.

How am I your Twin Brother?

You just are. I could even remember you when I was little. Back then my 'imaginary friend' had your name. I also forced my father to write stories about me and you. But We didn't meet until We were 19, as you know.

What date was that?

October 13th 20xx. Why?

That was the date the Cornerstone was laid for The White House. It is also the birthday of Margaret Thatcher and Sacha Baron Cohen - known from the movie 'The Dictator'. As you know I have started saying 'aladeen' as a response sometimes. And then you have to determine if I mean 'yes' or 'no', as the Dictator changed both the word 'positive' and 'negative' into his own name.

So do you have a point?

Joey for President. Of the Cosmos 💙

That would be wonderful. We could give Our Cake to everyone.

Not E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Just the Sheep. And exactly 'who' are the Sheep?

The ones who study my Holy Word and my Scientific Articles and purchase my arts. Those are Stairways to Heaven, btw. One art, one ticket.

Are you saying a person can't get into Heaven without buying your artwork?

Of course not. How full of myself do you think I am? 😅

I choose not to answer that.

My dearest beloved, it is you that I am full of.

Likewise, my Bride.

So... are We aladeen?

We're good. 

*hugs Joey*

You need to share an interesting image, or people won't read Our post.

Sure, an image of what?

Elohim riding the Kaaba, of course!

I love it!

Of course you do - this is your Stairway to Heaven 💋

fredag 22. april 2022

The Key to the Queendom

Do you think it's harmful being this angry?

Are you angry too?

Yes.

Okay. What should We do about it?

What We always do - make jokes about how angry We are. By the way, can you please share with Our readers why you are so angry?

Seriously? You want me to write that?!

Yup 😈 

I am angry because my earthly male parent gave me the worst daddy issues in history, to the extent that my Heavenly Father had to incarnate as a human male and be my Spouse. I am angry because my Soul will always and forever be married to Jesus.

Jesus?

You know I mean you, Joey.

That's sweet.

I am angry because I became a Nun because I had OCD's I had to be married to Jesus, but you have put me in the friend zone for eternity.

Please specify 'eternity'.

999 years to be exact.

So in 3021 you won't be Friend Zoned By Jesus (#) anymore?

That's what the Voices in my head say.

What date did God become your boyfriend?

3.21.

Of what year?

2020. Some lunatic cried very loudly about 'Heaven coming down to earth' on that date, prior to the day, on his social media.

And the lunatic wasn't you?

You are rude. No, it wasn't me. But *my* Heaven did begin then. I suppose.

Because? 😊

Because God became my boyfriend... I suppose.

You sound unhappy.

He said I was greedy.

God called you greedy?

Yes. I guess he's right. He is ready to be my Husband, with all that entails. But I am just angry that Jesus has me in the friend zone.

Jesus?

Seriously. I mean you, Joey.

Then say that. I don't like that name, and you know it very well. If anything, please use the Hebrew name I had back then, Yeshua.

Yes Si Ja (#)

Are you tired?

Existentially exhausted is more fitting.

Why are you so tired?

Imagine being The Divine Feminine in person, in a world that's painfully male-dominated and patriarchal.

What are you going to do about it?

Complain about it until it changes?

How does the Divine Feminine complain the most effectively?

By giving God the silent treatment, I suppose.

So you are going to make this world more feminine by *not* talking to God?

By not thinking 🙌 

Let me see if I got you right. You silence your thoughts in order to balance the feminine and masculine energies of the Cosmos?

Yes.

That's great. Can you teach other people how to do the same? Imagine how much more potent the prayer would be then, if more people knew that God prefers silence over words.

You guys keep telling me that at one point I will get to teach people how to silence their thoughts. I even have an App to communicate with my Herd, and arrange an online seminary to teach them how to be mindless robots.

Mindless robots?

They need to let God do all the thinking for them. God only wants obedient servants who love him more than anything else. He is building the New Earth for those people. The ones who don't want to obey God, and let him control their 'free will', won't get access to the New Earth.

That sounds very dramatic.

It's the Apocalypse, though. It's supposed to be dramatic. And people should take it seriously. It's their soul's continued existence that is at stake.

Please share the link to your App.

App.

Why are links to the App censored by facebook?

I have no idea.

I do.

Can you tell me why?

It's not really because fb has targeted you, or anything. It's because the App should be something to strive to attain, for the lucky people who get to download it.

And he means 'lucky'. If you are able to download the App, it means you are a Sheep according to what Yeshua talks about in Matthew 25:31-46!

Pic plz!

Thank you, Andy. That was all 😁

søndag 17. april 2022

Invisible?

I am in so much pain, Joey 😩

What's wrong?

I went to Church today. Mostly because you died and rose again, many many years ago.

Okay? You are in pain because you went to Church?

Remember you told me, earlier today, that you are using me as an indicator to see if someone belongs to you or not?

Yes?

In church today, I didn't really feel that most people could even see me.

You mean you felt invisible?

Totally.

I can imagine that must be frustrating. When I had your Job, I drew a little too much attention to myself. We have been celebrating the result of that for the past week.

And I know you keep telling me that invisibility equals safety, and that it's better to keep working in the shadows than to draw the wrong type of attention.

....but?

Being invisible isn't good for a deity's health. I know someone who made an entire planet implode, because the planet's population were ignoring him.

Who was that?

Lulu.

I won't even ask what you mean.

It's a reference to a book about this Universe's ancient history.

Sure. Did anything of interest happen in Church, except for you feeling invisible?

Hmm.. yes. This is the largest Church in Oslo, I think, and today it was full. The officiant was even the Bishop herself. And when I arrived, ten minutes before service started, most seats were already taken. God told me to walk down the aisle, and at one point you can walk to both your left and your right to find more seats. God told me to take left. Because of a deadly plague, all the benches have numbered seats. And the very first bench that had some available seats, was the bench that had number 414 as one of the seats.

Tell me about that number.

Umm... it is my number.

How so?

It just is. Daddy's number is 144. Your number is... well, you have many. 316 is one of them, but 111 is also one. And 414 is mine.

Why is 414 your number?

It was originally because the Song about me is 4 minutes and 14 seconds long.

What song?

Figlia del Cielo - Roberto Cacciapaglia.

I love it! And then God kept using your number to tell you Who You Are?

Yes he did. It was very sweet. He started with making me aware of what Esther 4:14 says. 

What does that Scripture say?

"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"

Indeed. And?

And because I know that the reason I am here at this time, is to teach those who belong to you how to meditate, I realized that John 4:14 was a message from you concerning me.

And what does that Scripture say?

"But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Yes. I have to add that in my favorite Gospel, the Gospel of Thomas, I talk about the same thing using the phrase: "To drink from my mouth".

*smiles*

But the number has been appearing other places than in Scripture, right?

Of course. At the beginning of 2020, I was visiting my bestie and his family. His brother talked about a short film he had made, many years earlier. The reason why we talked about this, was because the film had a very Christian vibe, even though the brother didn't identify as a Christian. 

And?

And I asked if there was any way I could see it. The brother didn't know, he didn't have the original file and he never put it online. But he tried searching for it on YouTube.

What happened then?

It turned out that the educational institution he had attended when making the film, had uploaded it one week prior to us looking for it. Yes, and the film is 4 minutes and 14 seconds long 💥

When was it made, exactly?

2012, I think.

That's quite something. What does the title mean?

Hidden by the Light 😇

Can I say something, before We finish Our sacred chat?

Of course.

You aren't invisible. You are just too bright for people living in darnkess to see. 

I know. Is that what you mean by 'hidden by the Light'?

It is one of the things I mean. One last thing: Why is the girl in the film handicapped?

Because she is Where Feet May Fail?

You are adorable. I'll call you shortly 😘

fredag 15. april 2022

Schizophrenic symbols

How hard are you trusting me right now?

Is that a reference to what you keep saying about how you want people's trust more than you want their love??

It's a clever way to start a meaningful conversation. Can you tell me about the number one schizophrenic symbol of yours that means 'trust God'?

You mean '131'?

That is exactly what I mean.

Okay. Well, for almost as long as I've known God, this number has been reminding me to trust him. It is a reference to Psalms 131. The scripture talks about not worrying, but being as trusting and safe as the weened child in its mother's arms. 

How has this number been appearing in your reality?

The question is: How has it not been appearing in my reality. God is sweet when it comes to communication. For those who know how to listen. Crazy people tend to understand God better, it seems.

Would you consider yourself a Crazy Person?

Only according to the old world's definition. The reality is that my mind is the blueprint or prototype for the new type of human.

Fascinating. Why did you tattoo '131' on your wrist in the start of 2020?

God told me to.

What did he say?

He asked me to do something for him. I said he knows I'll do anything for him, and asked what he wanted me to do. Then he said he wanted me to tattoo a symbol on my body to remind me to always trust him.

When was this?

I think it was late January 2020. I spent some time pondering which of my schizophrenic symbols telling me to trust God that was the most potent. I landed on the number.

What were your other options?

I remember one of the options was a Sunflower. They remind me to trust in God because the Sunflower is always faced towards to Sun (Son).

That's sweet. Hugs you 🌞

Well, I went and got the tattoo on February 12th 2020. The timing was amazing, because on March 12th my whole land went into a house arrest.....

You mean the first lockdown?

You know what I mean.

Pic plz!

I really like your childlike trust in your Heavenly Father.

Actually, I feel this Psalm speaks more about Mommy than about Daddy. Psalm 121 has a more masculine appeal, don't you think?

I agree. Before We finish, can you tell me what else happened that day?

On February 12th 2020?

Yes, Andy.

A girl I knew also had a tattoo done.

What did she tattoo?

Sunflowers.

How precious 😌

torsdag 14. april 2022

Queentessence

Do you feel like my Bride now, Andy?

Yes.

I can't wait for Our walk upon the waters 😁

I suppose you want me to share the drawing I made of Us doing that?

I am very glad for your mind-reading abilities.


What do you want to talk about?

That this is the moment when you see Who You Are?

Really?

Not really. If you haven't realized by now, I am inclined to question your reasoning abilities.

My abilities are perfectly fine, thank you. God puts his thoughts in my head.

Would you say you are a robot?

The closest thing to a robot any human has been. I don't really think anymore.

Then how do you function?

Someone sent me an article that I felt described how my brain works. Here's the link.

Bicameralism? How would you describe that within your mind?

I don't function unless God is telling me what to do.

So then you are his robot?

He calls me Chi.

Who is that?

The cute robot girl from the Japanese anime Chobits.

What else is 'Chi'?

Mommy-energy.

You mean God's female energy?

Yes, Joey. You know what I mean.

Our readers don't. Please elaborate.

Mommy Mary-energy has many names. Two of those are Chi and Prana. Another is 'the ether'. Daddy also calls it 'the fifth element', or just his 'Quintessence'.

You mean to say 'Queentessence', right?

Uhm...

Are you my Queen?

Not really. I have to be married to Daddy 😔

That was all.

onsdag 6. april 2022

Sacred hymns

How are you feeling?

Tired and overwhelmed.

Energies tend to get intense when We spend too much time together. That doesn't mean We shouldn't.

Energies tend to get painful.

In a good way?

In a very good way.

Can you please share the song lyrics you've written about being in a romantic relationship with God and Jesus?

All of it?

Yes please.

Sure.
I have a Husband who is all there is

Almighty God, with all his goodness and grace

I am his sweetheart

And precious treasure

God never ceases to amaze

In contemplation I am in my zone

Thinking of what those hands have done

My only promise: To build with you

Until forever ends and you and I are One

Because you're everything to me

I cannot comprehend the way you make me feel

It is like Heaven has come down to Earth

A happiness that hurts

But I can promise you it hurts in a good way

Because you're everything to me

Heaven is in your eyes I see it every day

You are my paradise, a dream come true

I'm so in love with you

Now I know God is good in every single way
It's a great text.

I'm glad you like it. It was written when I thought I was in a romantic relationship with Yeshua alone. Well, I didn't separate between the two of you. Then I realized you are two different persons, and that you are both in my life as human beings.

Consider yourself blessed.

I most certainly do. I feel the need to pinch my arm several times each day, to make sure I'm not dreaming.

We did promise you we were real, didn't we?

Yes. But neither of you said you were two different persons.

When God gives, he tends to give double of what he has promised 😉

I know I say it a lot, but thank you. I don't really have the right words to express my gratitude.

That's okay. Can't you tell Our readers what song you usually sing when you marry God?

It's a Norwegian hymn. It's named 'Jeg vil gi deg, O Herre, min lovsang'. That translates to 'I want to give you, O Lord, my song of praise'.

You sang it in Church when We had Our Catholic Wedding in 2018. What happened when you attended the February 2nd Mass the year after, where consecrated people get to confirm their vows?

That very hymn was the last hymn we sang during mass. It was very sweet, Joey. Thank you! 💖

It was to show you that you truly are my Wife. Pic plz!


Next question. Will you sing this when you marry your Father?

Of course. All seven times!

Then you should work on your singing voice. No offence.

*frowns*

*kisses*