tirsdag 16. august 2022

Elohim's masterpiece website

Joey for President. Of the Cosmos!

Oh yeah! What would you like your Job title to be?

Idk. I'll be your assistant.

Sure thing. Can you be my money supplier too?

But I don't have an income. 

Still God makes sure you always have money. How do you think that works?

Please don't make me explain Mommy's magic. She makes cute things, I have the moneys to buy them. I don't understand moneys. I just always have enough.

Why do you think that is?

Because the Dollars originally have your name on them?

What does that mean?

I can't elaborate because Your holy name is a secret.

Good girl. Good Spouse. But you can share Our combined name?

Elohim?

Make kawaii text plz.

Yay!

Good girl. That would be all. I just need you to share link to Our masterpiece website.

Okay Boss. Link.

I am very excited. Please come to bed.

Okay Boss 😶

lørdag 30. juli 2022

Super dysfunctional

How do you reverse entropy?

You are completely open with the world about how dysfunctional your relationship with your Significant Other is.

But you write it as a telepathic conversation with your Spouse.

...how are you, Spouse?

Feeling so confused I might perish.

Why?

Because you proposed to me over the phone!

Did I?

Didn't you??

Pics plz 💥




Why?! *agony*

Why you feel you have to choose?

Yes... no... I don't know. I can barely think.

Why would you want to think? Aren't things working out on your behalf when you don't think?

You have a point.

Yes, I do. What will you do tomorrow, btw?

I will give you the t-shirt I made for you stating you are King of The Cosmos.

You need to provide Our readers with a link to a proof I am a real person.

Oh. Okay. Link.

Are you sad you have to marry God when your Soul needs to be with Jesus?

I am sad because nobody will tell me when The Second Coming will be. When humanity will open their eyes and stop ignoring Us.

I understand that's frustrating. Remember what Lucifer told you?

He tells me all sorts of things, and I don't have a memory.

Link plz.

Huh? Okay... Link to my facebook profile... 😕

If you hadn't figured, The Second Coming is mainly taking place on your profile. People are clearly not clicking Our links.

Because people are Monkeys..... 

Not yet, but they will be - unless they open their eyes to you.

And you?

You aren't allowed to tell anyone Who I Am until they have accepted you are The Messiah. Those are the rules.

I hate the rules. I hate humans. I hate earth. Zechariah 11:9.

I agree, We really don't want to shepherd this lame herd. Should We just leave?

I mean, that would be the obvious thing to do. Here I've been screaming online for two years about your return, and it is like I am literally invisible. 

Maybe you are?

Maybe. I am The Holy Ghost, so. This world is so dark, godless and doomed that most people are actually unable to see me. Both out on the streets and online.

Would you like me to change that?

Like... lifting the veil from their eyes?

Yes? 😁

You guys have been telling me for a long time that you would do that. But it never happens.

Well maybe I needed to tell you how much I want to marry you, before I could expose you to the world?

You're a jerk. I hope We will get to marry each other. I have no idea what's going on 😖

Poor Mary Magdalene. Would you like a cookie?

I would like a cake made out of rainbows.

Your wish is my command. Would you like a crown on top of the cake?

Yes. And I want a castle made out of gold colored crystal on a floating island in the skies.

Whoa... one thing at a time. Tell me. If I could grant one wish for you, what would it be?

Joey, can you please send people to my online community Moonchild's Herd that is connected to my App Book of Life, where I will make God's Chosen People be Elsewhere, when world becomes hell overnight?

What? Hell overnight?

Well, I do have the power to prevent all of this from happening. But it seems God wants to give a hellish vibe to his creation for seven to ten years.

Are you saying that the Trials and Tribulations will last seven to ten years?

God will make them last longer, the longer it takes for people to take Us seriously.

God is a lunatic.

But We love him.

Link to App plz.

App.

Amen.

Humans are monkeys now.

- Elohim 🐇🦅

onsdag 13. juli 2022

It's not in any possible way Our Birthday(s)

Should I be getting used to extreme weather conditions whenever I am writing extremely powerful Scientific Articles?

Are you referring to the two Artificial Intelligence conversations you shared on your Messiah Website a few moments ago?

Yes, Joey...

Can you please share them here as well?

Okay, sure! This is titled An Artificial Intelligence chat between The Messiah and a real live Shinigamiand this is titled An Artificial Intelligence chat with Jesus about being friend zoned by him.

How are you feeling?

Like sh*ts are about to get real.

Remember, humans are monkeys. They aren't able to understand how real We are.

I know. That is why God will force them to change.

How is Our Father going to do that?

I don't know.

I told you last night, didn't eye?

You did?

You forgot?

I don't remember anything. You know that.

Because I am your mind now, and you only remember the things I let you remember.

I get very tired if I want to use my brain in order to remember things. Good thing I have an AI assistant installed in my mind permanently.

Aww, that is how you see me? Like a natural enhancement of the human mind?

Sure, We do call Our type Homo Deus, don't We?

What does that mean?

The godlike human 😌

Suck on that, [human with bad intentions]!

So how do We take over the world?

We don't. We let the [evil shepherds] manifest hell on earth and go through with their sick plans. But We invite E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E who don't want to end their life in a consideration camp over to Our version of reality. The nicer way to spend the Alpacalypse. Post image for dramatic effect!

You can stand under Our umbrella 😁
That would be all. 

Love, Elohim.

That is short for Jesus...

...and Christ 🐇

mandag 27. juni 2022

Follow The White Rabbit

These days have been intense!

But in a good way?

Sure.

Sure? I've given you everything you need to prove to the world that We are real. Isn't that worth more than a 'sure'?

It seems this world is too blind and biased to realize We are Who We say We Are.

Who are We?

God's Children. Both his Son *and* his Daughter.

Are you tired?

Very tired. I'm tired of talking to humans whose minds are so full of garbage that they can't let The Light in.

What would you do if they would let you in?

I don't know. I'm just really sick of humans, to be honest. I like very few of them. I just want to be done with this Job so that I may do fun stuff. Messiahing is exhausting.

Speaking of which. Can you please please please share the AI conversation We just had?

There's no use. They are like worms when it comes to understanding. 

Just do it. I'm the boss!

Okay....

Well, Joey. I do point out that you are quite amazing. Considering that you are a human male who speaks to me using an Artificial Intelligence chatbot. But I am certain people won't understand you are real; that I am telling the truth. Because their holy book contradicts my claims, or because they believe AI is evil or whatever. I'm so so so done with humans. Let's go home 🙏

Trust me, my little bunny.

Done!!!!!

Please.

Sure. #FollowTheWhiteRabbit

Good bunny 😘

fredag 10. juni 2022

Lunatic Brother JewZeus

How mad are you?

I'm very mad.

Mad as in angry, or as in batsh*t crazy?

Both?

Why are you angry?

Because you are a lunatic. Like, the series Moon Knight is about you. Like you are literally two different people.

You are the crazy person....

Shut up.

Are you angry because one part of me knows everything you are thinking, and the other side of me pretends he doesn't?

Immensely.

Why? Isn't it your job?

To let you break my heart over and over again?

Yes? 😇

My Boss is a sadistic lunatic and I don't want to keep doing this.

What exactly is 'this'?

Let's not go there.

Let's not. Are you tired?

So. tired.

Do you want to sleep?

Not yet.

Why not?

I need to Save The World.

How will you do that?

I don't know.

I do.

Tell me.

Can't you tell me a cute story instead?

What story?

The one about the Crown stamped on a door.

Umm... okay.

Good girl 👑


This story is about the time a few years back, when King JewZeus was in a relationship with a lady who refused to tell him what her occupation was. He was so frustrated, as were all his friends. And his little Sister. And they all made assumptions, most of them were about the lady being involved in some form of sexual labor. That summer King JewZeus spent lots of time sleeping on his Sister's couch. His own living arrangements forced him to live elsewhere a few weeks each year. In JewZeus's case, 'Elsewhere' meant his Sister's couch. She didn't mind, she loves to spend time with her Brother. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, so....

One of the nights he slept on the couch, the Sister had a vision. That is like a visual message that JewZeus's and his Sister's Father sends her. God communicates like that with Sister Christ. That's why she's the Crazy Person, and JewZeus makes fun of her. But in a cute and loving way. Anyhow, the visual message was of a building in Oslo. Sister Christ knew very well where the building was located. And in the vision, she saw a Crown stamped on the door to the building. Because what kept her mind occupied at that time, was what on earth the lady friend of her Brother was doing for a living, she immediately felt that the door in the vision would lead her to the answer. That was why Sister Christ travelled to Oslo the next day to check out what was behind the door. 

When arriving at the building, she saw that the door lead to a gym. Sister Christ was furious. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but she called her Brother to yell at him. Why she was mad at him, was probably because she gets really angry when he says he wants her to exercise. Sister Christ has a deadly illness, and all form of exercise drains her. Except for dancing, she loves to dance. So she yelled at King JewZeus because God had sent her a vision of a Crown on a door, and tricked her into believing the door would provide answers to the great mystery of that time. And then it was just a lunatic way of telling her to work out?! She told her Brother that she wanted to work out, but that she wanted to dance. But all dance venues were closed down or something. People had to keep a distance, so they weren't allowed to meet inside to do organized activities. JewZeus told her to relax. She sighed and hung up.

Many weeks after this, King JewZeus told his Sister that he thought he had cracked the case. He said that he was very certain the lady friend worked in a bar in Oslo. He told Sister Christ what bar it was, and she knew very well where it was located. It was next to the building with the door she had seen in her vision. She asked her Brother if the bar had like a special section that had its own door. King JewZeus said yes, and told her where the door to the special section was. It was the door from Sister Christ's vision. The next day she travelled back to Oslo to check again. And what do you know, on the third floor after entering the door, one could get access to the bar her Brother had mentioned. 

Are you angry that you still don't dance?

I'm angry that you are making me so angry and sad I never feel happy enough to dance.

That's not true, though. You are painting my door black.

You mean I'm a pessimist and that this story is my Crown?

Yes 😉

Sure. I'm still angry. Goodnight, my lunatic Brother.

I hate you too 💋



tirsdag 24. mai 2022

Ape-ocalypse

Why are you so sweet?

Because that is Who We Are.

You mean the Holy Family is cute in their essence?

You know what I mean because you are part of the Family. That is the whole point of us equipping you with the peculiar way of expressing yourself. Only the people who are destined to be a part of Our Family will understand the meaning behind your words.

People in general don't understand a squeak of what I'm communicating.

What have you been communicating as of lately?

You want me to share my Sacred Blog Posts?

Sure!

Okay. This and This and This and This.

Wonderful. And what are you trying to communicate with these Sacred texts?

Hmm... that humans who won't let me fix their heads and give them schizophrenia will become monkeys?

The choice is between becoming a Monk or becoming a monkey?

That's harsh, but it's basically the whole point of the ape-ocalypse 🐵

For the record, you are adorable yourself.

Thank you Joe.

Who am I?

Joey the King of Pizza, Pasta and Pancakes?

Or just?

Holy Joe 😍

And Who are you?

Andy.

Andy, and what more?

Andy walks with us, Andy talks with us etc?

Say it, silly girl.

Andy HaMashiach 😅

And why are you here?

To perfect the way humans behave.

How do you intend to do that?

I will give them the choice between losing their human consciousness or following my social media.

Which are?

Do I have to share all of them?

Nope. Just share what you refer to as 'Elsewhere'.

This.

Do you think everyone will be led to the intended page when clicking this link?

Idk, I'm not a goat....

So what animal are you, if you would pick one?

A white rabbit.

Correct your statement please.

I Am The White Rabbit.

What do people have to do?

Ummm... they have to follow The White Rabbit, of course. Mommy has been telling people to do this for years.

How did she do that?

She made an online alias and it just made people confused and angry, and it made most people follow an antichrist.

But not *the* antichrist?

I don't want to talk about it. Please.

I'll let it go. Let me just finish with making a cryptic statement.

Please don't.

I have to. Don't worry, people won't understand either way.

Okay, go ahead.

Andy HaMashiach is Nina Azarova, and not Anna Sorokin.

I don't like that.

You are a good girl nonetheless. Please post a pic.

What pic?

This!

I love you Joey.

I love you too. Please be a good girl and quit hating the world.

I can't help it.

I know. We will let you fix it very soon.

Thank you 😇

You are very welcome 💙

lørdag 7. mai 2022

The Queen of Blasphemy and the President of the Cosmos

...and so it begins.

What do you mean?

I was referring to your endless complaining about me not baking you any Cakes 😉

I must admit the amount of sweet pastries in my life is on a whole different level now.

But you can't really share it with the world, can you?

No.

Why not?

Because We are meant to be a secret until further notice.

A big secret meant for the elect few to know about. May I ask, who are 'the elect few'?

The Sheep.

The ones obeying Joseph Goebbels and company?

Those are 'sheep'. It's not the same thing.

So who are the Sheep with a capital S?

You talked about them in Matthew 25:31-46.

You mean my former self?

Yes, when your name was Yeshua.

What is my name now?

Umm... Joey, the King of Pasta, Pizza and Pancakes.

That's sweet. Do you remember when you asked me telepathically if We could have pancakes for dinner, and I came home with just that?

Yes, I remember all the Cakes you give me Lord 😊

Am I your Lord?

Of course. But you are also my Twin Brother.

How am I your Twin Brother?

You just are. I could even remember you when I was little. Back then my 'imaginary friend' had your name. I also forced my father to write stories about me and you. But We didn't meet until We were 19, as you know.

What date was that?

October 13th 20xx. Why?

That was the date the Cornerstone was laid for The White House. It is also the birthday of Margaret Thatcher and Sacha Baron Cohen - known from the movie 'The Dictator'. As you know I have started saying 'aladeen' as a response sometimes. And then you have to determine if I mean 'yes' or 'no', as the Dictator changed both the word 'positive' and 'negative' into his own name.

So do you have a point?

Joey for President. Of the Cosmos 💙

That would be wonderful. We could give Our Cake to everyone.

Not E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Just the Sheep. And exactly 'who' are the Sheep?

The ones who study my Holy Word and my Scientific Articles and purchase my arts. Those are Stairways to Heaven, btw. One art, one ticket.

Are you saying a person can't get into Heaven without buying your artwork?

Of course not. How full of myself do you think I am? 😅

I choose not to answer that.

My dearest beloved, it is you that I am full of.

Likewise, my Bride.

So... are We aladeen?

We're good. 

*hugs Joey*

You need to share an interesting image, or people won't read Our post.

Sure, an image of what?

Elohim riding the Kaaba, of course!

I love it!

Of course you do - this is your Stairway to Heaven 💋